Charis Vera's
    Follow my twat!
    Friday, November 27, 2009
    Higgley Piggley Bumble Bee
    Soooooo, I am flyflyflying away!

    The route is basically Hong Kong- Shen Zhen - Hong Kong. Lots to do, lots to see, lots of people to meet.
    My maternal grandfather for one. I've been in a habit of referring to him as "my real grandfather" while talking to people and they keep going, "you mean you've got a fake one?"
    It is a big deal for me because well, I haven't met him before in my entire life. I don't even think he knows what I look like. So it's a bit strange.
    But it'll be nice to meet him, it really will.

    Then there's my aunt and uncle who will be flying over from LA to Hong Kong around the same time, and hopefully, I'll get to meet up with my Godma again. She's just SOOOOO much fun.

    I think what I'm looking forward to the mostest, out of everything, is the weather. That kind of weather, and Christmas vibes, and you have a very very VERY happy Charis<3

    Managed to have a lovely swim and get a tan today. So I'll look nicely roasted BEFORE going off to look all pale and whale-ish.
    There's just an insane amount of shit to get done right now, I think I'm going MAD MAD MAD.
    Best be off! I even have to finish math homework first!
    poo):

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    posted by Charis Vera @ 12:53:00 AM   0 comments
    Wednesday, November 25, 2009
    if you find yourself on my side of town,
    funky mirrors make hot bodies!

    So yesterday was spent doing the last bit of my Children's Christmas Program- planning.
    All I had to do was do the little Arts & Crafts pieces. I'm quite happy with them because they look awfully cute!

    Then I had to do Rudolph.
    So I started out by drawing my own reindeer first.
    Now I'm no artist and my drawing sucks balls. So considering all that, I'm quite happy with what I came up with! ^^
    Then I took that sketch and made it into a template to cut Rudolphs!
    aaaaaandddd


    Ta Dah! You have Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer.


    Well, that's work for you.(:


    I'd like to wear a pretty little dress tomorrow. Except I'm out of pretty little dresses.
    I'm not kidding you! They're all too casual or too NOT casual. There doesn't seem to be any in between, and that's starting to peeve me a little bit.
    Groan, all these clothes. All I likey very much! THEN HOW?
    blah.

    Nope I haven't finished packing for Hong Kong yet. So I suppose I ought to go do that then.
    toodles(:

    Labels: ,

    posted by Charis Vera @ 11:58:00 PM   0 comments
    Hurry Christmas, Hurry Fast.

    oh Lord, I love Christmas. I do, I do, I DO.
    And I'm excited!
    So excited:D:D

    There's the children's programme (which is why I'm googling for reindeer at 12.20am), and the Christmas parties and the presents (ooooh, I just LOOOOOVE presents!), the night watch services, the Christmas lights, the shopping, the buildup.

    Oh I love I love!

    Christmas shopping will all be done in Hong Kong, it's the loveliest excuse to shooooooop!


    xoxo

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    posted by Charis Vera @ 12:17:00 AM   0 comments
    Sunday, November 22, 2009
    a litre of tears
    "Do you still miss her?" I ask
    "Oh yes, of course. Yes, yes I do." He pauses and smiles for a bit, "I uh, I still keep her picture with me."

    It's a realization that hurts, and I am moved to tears.
    His daughter, blinded by her anger for him, can't even begin to guess. His girlfriend, with an entire world of priorities and plans and reaches, she wouldn't understand.


    That she talks to him in dreams.
    That she is happy.
    That he is happy, so happy, knowing that she is.

    There is a world you wish you could undo, but because you can't, even if you don't want to,
    you become stronger.

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    posted by Charis Vera @ 11:36:00 PM   0 comments
    Saturday, November 21, 2009
    a trash bag full of what ifs
    I saw the sunset and started tearing up. Then I re-focused my thoughts and started organizing.
    Throwing questions at myself, I grappled with the reality of the answers that I was providing. I sifted through the melodrama, the self-pity, the issues that stemmed from events nearly a decade ago.

    All I was left with was a box of melodrama marked "To Throw",
    and the realization that really, I'm fine.

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    posted by Charis Vera @ 9:19:00 PM   0 comments
    and hold yourself there for 60 seconds. If you feel like dying, continue holding until you do
    "You're angry." He says.
    scoff
    "No I'm not." I reply.
    "You're angry. Why?"
    "I'm not!"
    come on, really? All I've been doing is skipping for the last fifteen minutes!

    "I know," he insists, "I know you're angry. why?"
    "I don't know."
    and I don't. But I do know that I know how to smile and be okay.

    "Hand okay?" He asks, startling me a bit.
    He reaches for my left wrist and I turn my arm over. It's clean, save for the scars.
    "Good." He says, beaming at me.
    He nods. "I know," he says simply, "I know."



    It's crazy.
    It feels crazy, that he sees right through me. That he identified an emotion that I didn't even realize was present.
    That he bothered to at all.


    That he bothered.

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    posted by Charis Vera @ 8:57:00 PM   0 comments
    Thursday, November 19, 2009
    I'm going crazy, I am.
    Can't breathe and I just hate crying when I feel like this. Like all knotted up and like there's so many things to do that I can't concentrate on just one.

    It's been so long, today.
    So long and so tiring and I need to breathe, I need to breathe and I can't.
    I want to curl up in bed but I can't and there's just such an insane amount of stuff to do.
    I want to look forward to something, but you can't possibly look forward to something that isn't there.

    And oh there's just so much, and I don't think I could take it all.
    It's only 8:48 in the evening and it feels like it way past midnight. And I'm so tired. I'm tired, I am.

    And I feel.like.I'm.going.insane.


    help.
    please.

    Labels:

    posted by Charis Vera @ 8:45:00 PM   0 comments
    About Me

    Name: Charis Vera Ng
    Where I'm at: Singapore

    About Me: Driven completely by passion. I tend to overwork myself sometimes but don't really notice because no one has time to worry.
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