| Friday, November 27, 2009 |
| Higgley Piggley Bumble Bee |
Soooooo, I am flyflyflying away!
The route is basically Hong Kong- Shen Zhen - Hong Kong. Lots to do, lots to see, lots of people to meet.
My maternal grandfather for one. I've been in a habit of referring to him as "my real grandfather" while talking to people and they keep going, "you mean you've got a fake one?"
It is a big deal for me because well, I haven't met him before in my entire life. I don't even think he knows what I look like. So it's a bit strange.
But it'll be nice to meet him, it really will.
Then there's my aunt and uncle who will be flying over from LA to Hong Kong around the same time, and hopefully, I'll get to meet up with my Godma again. She's just SOOOOO much fun.
I think what I'm looking forward to the mostest, out of everything, is the weather. That kind of weather, and Christmas vibes, and you have a very very VERY happy Charis<3
Managed to have a lovely swim and get a tan today. So I'll look nicely roasted BEFORE going off to look all pale and whale-ish.
There's just an insane amount of shit to get done right now, I think I'm going MAD MAD MAD.
Best be off! I even have to finish math homework first!
poo):Labels: TRAVEL |
posted by Charis Vera @ 12:53:00 AM  |
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| Hurry Christmas, Hurry Fast. |
oh Lord, I love Christmas. I do, I do, I DO.
And I'm excited!
So excited:D:D
There's the children's programme (which is why I'm googling for reindeer at 12.20am), and the Christmas parties and the presents (ooooh, I just LOOOOOVE presents!), the night watch services, the Christmas lights, the shopping, the buildup.
Oh I love I love!
Christmas shopping will all be done in Hong Kong, it's the loveliest excuse to shooooooop!
xoxoLabels: everyday life |
| posted by Charis Vera @ 12:17:00 AM |
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| Sunday, November 22, 2009 |
| a litre of tears |
"Do you still miss her?" I ask
"Oh yes, of course. Yes, yes I do." He pauses and smiles for a bit, "I uh, I still keep her picture with me."
It's a realization that hurts, and I am moved to tears.
His daughter, blinded by her anger for him, can't even begin to guess. His girlfriend, with an entire world of priorities and plans and reaches, she wouldn't understand.
That she talks to him in dreams.
That she is happy.
That he is happy, so happy, knowing that she is.
There is a world you wish you could undo, but because you can't, even if you don't want to,
you become stronger.Labels: EVOL, Stories |
| posted by Charis Vera @ 11:36:00 PM |
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| Saturday, November 21, 2009 |
| a trash bag full of what ifs |
I saw the sunset and started tearing up. Then I re-focused my thoughts and started organizing.
Throwing questions at myself, I grappled with the reality of the answers that I was providing. I sifted through the melodrama, the self-pity, the issues that stemmed from events nearly a decade ago.
All I was left with was a box of melodrama marked "To Throw",
and the realization that really, I'm fine.Labels: Personal, Stories |
| posted by Charis Vera @ 9:19:00 PM |
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| and hold yourself there for 60 seconds. If you feel like dying, continue holding until you do |
"You're angry." He says.
scoff
"No I'm not." I reply.
"You're angry. Why?"
"I'm not!"
come on, really? All I've been doing is skipping for the last fifteen minutes!
"I know," he insists, "I know you're angry. why?"
"I don't know."
and I don't. But I do know that I know how to smile and be okay.
"Hand okay?" He asks, startling me a bit.
He reaches for my left wrist and I turn my arm over. It's clean, save for the scars.
"Good." He says, beaming at me.
He nods. "I know," he says simply, "I know."
It's crazy.
It feels crazy, that he sees right through me. That he identified an emotion that I didn't even realize was present.
That he bothered to at all.
That he bothered.Labels: Personal |
| posted by Charis Vera @ 8:57:00 PM |
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| Thursday, November 19, 2009 |
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I'm going crazy, I am.
Can't breathe and I just hate crying when I feel like this. Like all knotted up and like there's so many things to do that I can't concentrate on just one.
It's been so long, today.
So long and so tiring and I need to breathe, I need to breathe and I can't.
I want to curl up in bed but I can't and there's just such an insane amount of stuff to do.
I want to look forward to something, but you can't possibly look forward to something that isn't there.
And oh there's just so much, and I don't think I could take it all.
It's only 8:48 in the evening and it feels like it way past midnight. And I'm so tired. I'm tired, I am.
And I feel.like.I'm.going.insane.
help.
please.Labels: Personal |
| posted by Charis Vera @ 8:45:00 PM |
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